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How to untangle an Apple ID muddle

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I had an Apple ID, but I lived in Italy. I added some new email accounts to the ID, but even though I now live in the UK I wasn't able to change my location. So I decided to create an additional ID - using my UK address.
The system said that I was using this email address within my Apple ID chain - so I must have linked it.
I tried to change the existing Apple ID to my new UK email account - but it keeps saying the password is wrong, and when asked to verify who I am, it says that my birthday is wrong. Many things I may forget, but my birthday wouldn't be one of them.
I asked it to send me a link to reset my password, but it says it's sent one, and it hasn't arrived in any of my email accounts.
I am totally and completely stuck.
What I would like to do is wipe the whole thing and just start again, but then I lose all the apps etc that I've bought.
It seems to me that Apple IDs started as a good idea, but they have not allowed for simple things like people moving countries, and the total lack of support is breathtakingly appalling.
Any help or suggestions would be very gratefully received.

Answers

There isn't an issue with changing the country for an iTunes/Mac App Store account. There isn't an issue with changing the email address associated with an Apple ID. That is when done correctly. I have done both without issue.
http://osxdaily.com/2013/05/24/change-country-itunes-app-store/
Changing the email address you use for your Apple ID -
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5621
If you have made it so that you are unable to do one or the other because of an issue such as a password;
Apple ID security issues -
Call Apple Care and ask for the Account Security Team. They can assist you.

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